


Ain't Youth Meant To Be Beautiful?

by Lilsciencequeen



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Galentine's Day, Gen, Grief/Mourning, I'm Sorry, but sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-14
Updated: 2019-02-14
Packaged: 2019-10-27 19:12:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17772620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lilsciencequeen/pseuds/Lilsciencequeen
Summary: On the Valentine's Day after Fitz's death, Daisy can't leave Jemma alone.





	Ain't Youth Meant To Be Beautiful?

“Simmons?” she called out, knocking on the bedroom door, her voice low and cautious, not wanting to wake up the scientist in case she was asleep, something that was most likely even though it was the middle of the day. They had been back here, back in the Lighthouse for nearly a week now, refuelling and recovering from months upon months in space. And there had been a massive change in Jemma, from someone who had been so determined, sacrificing both sleep and meals to try and find her husband, to someone so defeated, not even wanting to leave her room, preferring to spend more and more time alone. Withdrawn.They had been so far unsuccessful in locating Fitz, and that just… it broke her spirit more than anything else.

And when they told her that they had to come back to Earth… No. Daisy shook her head, she didn’t want to think about that.

“Jemma,” she tried again, her voice slightly louder this time because she had heard a rustling inside the room, a movement in the bed. Jemma was awake, obviously hiding away from the team. Not wanting to talk to them. She was angry at them, Daisy knew that much, and she wasn’t surprised. They had taken her away from Fitz, the closest she had been to finding him, and it would be several weeks again until they were able to leave again to find him. “Jemma. C’mon, I just want to talk.” A pause, a beat, where there was just silence, Daisy growing more and more desperate with each passing second. “I have ice cream.” Nothing. “It’s dairy-free!”

Her gaze dropped to the ice cream in her hand, cold and numbing but already softening under her grip. She knew that the ice cream, it wouldn’t do any good. There was only one thing that Jemma wanted, and Daisy was unable to do anything about it. She couldn’t bring Fitz back, she couldn’t bring Fitz back to Jemma, and she knew it would be months before they found him,  _ if _ they found him, because there was a part of herself, a deep dark part that she hated, a part of her that she wished didn’t exist, that believed that Fitz was gone. That what they were doing, it was just a wild goose chase through the cosmos, searching for someone that wasn’t there. Not anymore.

But she couldn’t do it. She couldn’t give up on Fitz. Not when they had gotten so close, not after all they had done to find him. And not after all that Jemma had done, all that they had been through. They had been through so much in the past months, had survived so much, and she couldn’t give up on Fitz. Not ever. Because Jemma and him, they deserved they’re happy ending. They had been through so much, had lost so much and yet, they had survived so much.

The two of them were unstoppable.

Space.

Alternative realities.

Time.

They had survived it all.

And after all that, after all they had been through, death would be nothing. They could conquer it like they had conquered everything else.

They would survive this.

But first…

First, first she needed to check on Jemma, to support her on what was one of the romantic days of the year.

The day she should be with Fitz, out celebrating, enjoying time together and enjoying the presence of the other.

Not lying in bed, mourning.

Which was so obviously what Jemma was doing.

And she shouldn’t be alone, not through this.

“I’m coming in,” Daisy eventually called out, pushing the door open, having to use her shoulder to force it open enough so she could get in. The metal bottom had caught on something, and upon entering Daisy found it was one of Fitz’s shirts, one of many actually, that were thrown across the floor, with the rest of his clothes, as though there had been an explosion in the room.

Peeling her eyes away from the mess, the open drawers and the shattered glass on the corner, she allowed her gaze to come to rest on Jemma, the biochemist curled up on the bed, not even under the covers, a simple blanket (the one Fitz’s mum had made her that time she had contracted the flu) resting upon her. Her back was turned to the door, not wanting any contact.

It was a sight Daisy wished she didn’t have to see, and it took a moment to compose herself, and when she did, she crossed the room in only several strides, setting the spoons and ice cream down on the first available surface and sat on the bed. “Jemma, Jemma can I speak to you?”

She wanted to reach out, place a hand on her friend’s shoulder. But she didn’t. Upsetting Jemma any further was something that she didn’t want to do. She spooked easily these days, not enjoying excessive body contact. She preferred to keep to herself. “I want to help Jemma. Please.”

“You want to help?” Jemma rolled over from where she was lying, adjusting herself so that she could look up to her friend. She was dressed in an old hoodie, a pair of plaid pyjama bottoms, both items having belonged to Fitz once upon a time. The blanket slid from her as she moved, no longer covering her. “Then bring… bring Fitz back…” She gave a harsh laugh before all of the energy left her, and she collapsed back down, her head coming to rest on Daisy’s lap, curling her legs up underneath her. “I miss him Daisy, I miss him so so much.” And at the point, the dam broke. The barrier that had been holding her emotions in shattered, a cascade of emotion spilling out of her. Sobs tore out of her, hurting her chest, but she couldn’t stop, no matter how hard she tried. All she wanted was her husband, her best friend back. But he wasn’t here and she had no idea when he was coming back. She just  _ knew _ that she needed him back. "It  _hurts_ so much."

And without really thinking about it, she started to stroke Jemma’s hair, massaging gentle patterns into her friend’s hair. Making soothing noises, it was the best she could think to do, wanting nothing more than to take the pain and the hurt away.

“We’ll get him back,” Daisy whispered, knowing a fraction of the pain that Jemma was going through, losing someone that you loved hurt, but losing your soulmate, your other half… she didn’t even want to think what that would be like, the void that it left inside you. “We’re going to, Jemma, I swear we’re going to find him.” Jemma’s hair continued to fall through Daisy’s fingers, the sobs already starting to lessen. 

“You think so?” The question from Jemma shocked her, shocked that someone like her, someone as determined as her could ask as question that seemed so defeated. “I just…” A heavy sigh, her eyes closing, tears clinging to them. “I don’t know how to do this.”

There had been days, moments like this when all hope had drained from Jemma, when she had lost… when she had just lost everything. Had lost all hope, the fire inside her to go on. It never lasted long but it still hurt to watch. Still hurt to watch her friend, once the optimist, who saw the good everywhere become just utterly defeated. And it hurt more there wasn’t a damn thing she could do to change it.

“Jemma, we’re going to find him, and you’re going to get that happy ending. That cottage in Perthshire. You’re going to get that okay. This isn’t how your story ends. Not here. Not like this.”

There was silence, no response and then; “Stay with me?”

Daisy nodded, wrapped Jemma in the blanket once more, and holding her close, leaning down and pressing a kiss on top of Jemma’s head. “Always.”

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry, okay? I promised stjarna there would be a happier FS fic tomorrow ;)


End file.
